Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Cancelled
IUI#4 got cancelled. Follies scan was terrible. I will update later.... I dont even want to talk (type) about it right now =( IM SO SICK OF GETTING MY HOPES UP AND THEN BEING DEVASTATED!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Just another manic monday
Some days I question whether my boss cares about my safety! Some of the places that he sends me are so sketchy!
I have my follie scan on wednesday and I am getting really really nervous to see what ive got cooking in there. Im worried to get no large or mature follies like with IUI#1. DH is actually in town this week and I think that I might have him come with me, he has not seen a follie scan with me. IT IS SO NICE HAVING HIM HERE even though he drives me crazy at times ;) (love you hunnie).
One of the girls who is extremely active and helpful on the IF board got a positive beta today!!!!! (Congrats if you are reading) It gives me such hope! She is such a wonderful and supportive girl who deserves this so much. Its times like that that I remember there is a goal to all of this pain and suffering.
I have my follie scan on wednesday and I am getting really really nervous to see what ive got cooking in there. Im worried to get no large or mature follies like with IUI#1. DH is actually in town this week and I think that I might have him come with me, he has not seen a follie scan with me. IT IS SO NICE HAVING HIM HERE even though he drives me crazy at times ;) (love you hunnie).
One of the girls who is extremely active and helpful on the IF board got a positive beta today!!!!! (Congrats if you are reading) It gives me such hope! She is such a wonderful and supportive girl who deserves this so much. Its times like that that I remember there is a goal to all of this pain and suffering.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
IUI#3
Im getting super excited for IUI #3.... Im trying not to get my hopes up but here they come creeping up! =) Follie scan on wednesday *grow follies, grow"!!!
Dear Clomid,
why must you prevent me from sleeping with your rampant hot flashes and middle of the night pain/cramping/stomach aching?!
I desperately want some good sleep but cant seem to get any! I have to say that I would be willing to try any medication to get a month off of the Clomid. I know that everyone responds differently to it but I dont react well. I have now had a constant headache for 9 days and am considering beheading myself (not really.....yet). I am ready for it to be wednesday so I can see what is cooking in these dysfunctional ovaries of mine. I think once I reach that point, if I have good follies, it will seem worth it and I will be able to deal better.... plus I usually dont have as many headaches by that point.
I went and picked up my syringes that the pharmacy had to order for me. The girl working there said to me "We have to order them for you.... you are like the only person that brings in prescriptions for them here!" I was thinking and actually said "Oh, lucky me." They came in and I picked them up and all is ready and waiting for trigger now.
Justin is home and it is SO nice to have him here. I indulged in some more garden therapy yesterday. Heres what we did:
We planted a weeping willow in the backyard in an area that has lots of moist soil and water (a low spot).
I got some phlox to make a pretty bed around my mailbox.
I got a hanging pot of GORGEOUS fuchsia but then got home and realized that they are for total shade (we dont have any shade) OOPS!
And I got a new perennial to put somewhere, haven't decided where yet. I also pruned my hydrangea and peonies and weeded our veggie garden. I love working in the yard.... helps me destress!
I desperately want some good sleep but cant seem to get any! I have to say that I would be willing to try any medication to get a month off of the Clomid. I know that everyone responds differently to it but I dont react well. I have now had a constant headache for 9 days and am considering beheading myself (not really.....yet). I am ready for it to be wednesday so I can see what is cooking in these dysfunctional ovaries of mine. I think once I reach that point, if I have good follies, it will seem worth it and I will be able to deal better.... plus I usually dont have as many headaches by that point.
I went and picked up my syringes that the pharmacy had to order for me. The girl working there said to me "We have to order them for you.... you are like the only person that brings in prescriptions for them here!" I was thinking and actually said "Oh, lucky me." They came in and I picked them up and all is ready and waiting for trigger now.
Justin is home and it is SO nice to have him here. I indulged in some more garden therapy yesterday. Heres what we did:
We planted a weeping willow in the backyard in an area that has lots of moist soil and water (a low spot).
I got some phlox to make a pretty bed around my mailbox.
I got a hanging pot of GORGEOUS fuchsia but then got home and realized that they are for total shade (we dont have any shade) OOPS!
And I got a new perennial to put somewhere, haven't decided where yet. I also pruned my hydrangea and peonies and weeded our veggie garden. I love working in the yard.... helps me destress!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Happy
Justin is home =) Its so nice to have him here! No post tonight.... just hubby time.
Goodnight all!
Goodnight all!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Welcome ICLW!
Welcome! To give you a little background my blog is about the struggles that my husband and I go through everyday trying to cope with infertility. Feel free to follow my blog if you would like and I would love to follow yours too!
This is my first time doing ICLW and I have already been connected with so many blogs that I cant relate to! What a fun experience!
This is my first time doing ICLW and I have already been connected with so many blogs that I cant relate to! What a fun experience!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Monatony
Sometimes I feel like all my days run together... I think about the same things when I wake up, when I am working, when I am on the couch and when I am waiting to fall asleep at night. "WHY?!" I hate unanswerable questions. If is one of those things that completely consumes you. I would do anything to just clear my mind for an hour and think about other things.
Today is CD 8. I am done with my Clomid dose, thank god. I am so tired of having a CONSTANT THROBBING HEADACHE! I am tired, moody, and I think the hot flashes would make menopause feel like Antarctica. Now I am coasting till my ultrasound follie check next wednesday.
Justin is gone again. 3 out of the last 4 weeks he has been gone and I cant wait to just see him and spend 2 weeks with him.... if a trip doesn't pop up of course.
I cant believe that IUI#3 is underway.... I know I have said this before but I CANT BELIEVE IT HAS GONE THIS FAR.
Today is CD 8. I am done with my Clomid dose, thank god. I am so tired of having a CONSTANT THROBBING HEADACHE! I am tired, moody, and I think the hot flashes would make menopause feel like Antarctica. Now I am coasting till my ultrasound follie check next wednesday.
Justin is gone again. 3 out of the last 4 weeks he has been gone and I cant wait to just see him and spend 2 weeks with him.... if a trip doesn't pop up of course.
I cant believe that IUI#3 is underway.... I know I have said this before but I CANT BELIEVE IT HAS GONE THIS FAR.
Infertility Awareness Week
Infertility Awareness Week is April 24th - May 1st.
Chances are, you know someone who is struggling with infertility. More than seven million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. Yet, as a society, we are woefully uninformed about how to best provide emotional support for our loved ones during this painful time.
Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn't coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life.
The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal.
As the couple moves into infertility treatments, the pain increases while the bank account depletes. The tests are invasive and embarrassing to both parties, and you feel like the doctor has taken over your bedroom. And for all of this discomfort, you pay a lot of money.
A couple will eventually resolve the infertility problem in one of three ways:
-They will eventually conceive a baby.
-They will stop the infertility treatments and choose to live without children.
-They will find an alternative way to parent, such as by adopting a child or becoming a foster parent.
Reaching a resolution can take years, so your infertile loved ones need your emotional support during this journey. Most people don't know what to say, so they wind up saying the wrong thing, which only makes the journey so much harder for their loved ones. Knowing what not to say is half of the battle to providing support.
Chances are, you know someone who is struggling with infertility. More than seven million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. Yet, as a society, we are woefully uninformed about how to best provide emotional support for our loved ones during this painful time.
Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn't coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life.
The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal.
As the couple moves into infertility treatments, the pain increases while the bank account depletes. The tests are invasive and embarrassing to both parties, and you feel like the doctor has taken over your bedroom. And for all of this discomfort, you pay a lot of money.
A couple will eventually resolve the infertility problem in one of three ways:
-They will eventually conceive a baby.
-They will stop the infertility treatments and choose to live without children.
-They will find an alternative way to parent, such as by adopting a child or becoming a foster parent.
Reaching a resolution can take years, so your infertile loved ones need your emotional support during this journey. Most people don't know what to say, so they wind up saying the wrong thing, which only makes the journey so much harder for their loved ones. Knowing what not to say is half of the battle to providing support.
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