Sunday, October 24, 2010

FET is finally going to be in progress

Tomorrow I have my ultrasound to check and see if my ovaries have shrunken back down to size after my IVF cycle in aug/sept. I am soooooo ready to finally be doing something. While I have been swallowing at least 11 pills a night I really dont feel like I am making any progress so I need this.

On another note, I didnt realize how broken I was/am until last night. I always put on a strong face and try to make my life be a little less awful and last night I just broke down. I cant tell you the last time I cried for hours but I just couldnt stop. It became even more obvious to me last night just how unfair this world is. I will never understand why some undeserving horrible people get to be moms and I cant. I woke up today with eyes that look swollen, empty and dead. I dont want to be one of those people who look vacant and hollow but today, I do.

4 comments:

  1. hi there! here from iclw!

    good luck at your u/s tomorrow! and you have to believe that you (and me!) will be a mother one day! i hope you find your way out of the sad place soon. it's not fair, i know. hugs.

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  2. Even though I was on a blog vacation, I was still checking in on you during your IVF. I was heartbroken for you when it was a negative.

    I am praying everyday that your FET is successful

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  3. Oh honey, I'm so sorry...sometimes those days just hit us and there's nothing you can do but ride it out. May I recommend frozen vegetables on the eyes? ;-)

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  4. Your eyes could never look dead...you have so much life in you. It may not be shining bright right now, but it's there, reaching out. I wish you all the best with this IVF! *Hugs!* (ICLW #72 & 106)

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