Sometimes I feel like I am so broken that things will never be the same. Will I ever feel like im not the odd one out in the room? Will I ever see someone with their kids and not feel like a knife is being twisted in my heart? Will I ever be able to not feel awkward when babies or pregnancy is brought up?
Most of all, will it ever hurt less to hear "When are you guys going to have a baby? Are you trying?"...... HELL YEAH IM TRYING... IS TRYING SUPPOSED TO HELP?! How nice it would be to have one tiny bit of a say in when I have a baby! Do people actually get to have kids when it is convenient for them? Those are luxuries I will never know or feel. All I can wonder is "Will anything EVER work?".
will. anything. ever. work?
It always boggles my mind that some people just get pregnant, it seems so unfathomable! I can't imagine one day actually wanting to go to a baby shower or participate in baby talk. I know for a fact that I will never be the same again! I hope you journey has a happy ending soon. Take care!
ReplyDeleteHere from ICLW. I am so sorry. I hope that your FET is the miracle you've been searching for. Personally, I have done "better" with FETs than IVF. I hope the same goes for you.
ReplyDeleteHere from ICLW. Sorry to hear that you're struggling right now. Praying that your FET gives you what you want and need. Wishing you a ton of sticky baby dust and happiness soon. This too shall pass... take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteHere for ICLW. I understand what you're going through. I had a neighbor say to me on MOTHER'S Day - you know what you need? A baby. I went inside and cried for half the day after that. We did get our BFP soon after that and I truly hope your FET brings you yours!
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard to live through infertility and it is easy to lose hope. Your "HELL YEAH IM TRYING... IS TRYING SUPPOSED TO HELP?!" made me laugh only because it is so true. I used to be one of those people who thought trying would lead to a baby easily, boy was I wrong. Live and learn and hope. Good luck with your FET cycle!
ReplyDeleteIt gets so hard to hold onto hope with both hands - especially when what you have tried just doesn't bring yout he results you long for. Sending you much love and strength and hope to keep you going.
ReplyDeleteHere from ICLW
Visiting from ICLW and wanted to wish you the BEST of luck with this FET. That you ended up on the negative side of odds for your IVF doesn't mean you can't end up on the right side for the FET.
ReplyDeleteI seem to always end up on the less likely side of things, and sometimes it really works to your advantage :)
Love the song BTW!!
I'm so sorry for what you've been through. Best of luck to you.
ReplyDeleteHappy ICLW!
It is so unfair... Terribly unfair. To this day, even with two living children, I still feel the pain of it all. And the things people say- it's cruel and the worst of it is that people dont even realize how much it hurts.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and sending hugs...