Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I have reached my breaking point.

My job is very stressful and I try to be as least stressed as possible due to Drs orders. My boss it very blunt. He only tells you when he is mad about something and never when you do a good job. He micromanages me and he doesnt really understand what I do and go through on a day to day basis. This being said, I really love my job. He upsets me at least every other week with some email that isnt worded nicely and makes me feel like junk but I usually get over it. Well today it went too far and I called my Nursing Director (the only other case manager) to try and get her input and stress to her how I constantly feel like I am on thin-ice and that our boss thinks I do a bad job. She said she is going to talk to him because she doesnt see where he is coming from and thinks that we have a therapist saying things to him that arent true. I wish I knew which therapist this was because the claim that he made to my boss is so incredibly false it is ridiculous. The other nurse agreed that she knows this is false. I am just beyond angry and my boss says he doesnt have time to call me today because he is busy.... you cannot email someone a complaint saying that someone accused me of not doing a blood pressure and not hear a response. I have just had it. I need a new job when I am respected.

I think that this job is contributing to my fertility issues because the stress is so overwhelming. I came home from work today and just cried and cried and cried. Not because I can get pregnant no matter what I do but because I take my job very seriously, always do my best, and really go out of my way for my patients and its not recognized or appreciated.... instead I just miss some little piece of paperwork or something every now and then and "need to do a better job". I wish I wasnt buried under bills and debt and I could just stand up for myself and tell my boss that if thats what he thinks of me then I am quitting but financially I cant. The worst part is that he kinda knows what going on with me and he obviously doesnt care.

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