Announcing: The Human Pincushion

I went and had my blood work drawn today. I have terrible veins and only one that anyone can ever get blood from. It is RARE for anyone to get me on the first try. Well, today was no exception. I literally showed the nurse where my vein was, told her what kind of needle works best on me, and had to walk her through it. You work at a lab.... dont you draw blood all day? I dont really mind because at one point in my life I was the one learning but she was no student. The blood finally was taken and I will get my progesterone level back tomorrow. I am TERRIFIED. After my first IUI I thought that I was just waiting that 2 weeks to see my BFP! Each time I start a new treatment I think that it must be the answer. Well my labs came back at 8dpIUI (8 days post IUI) worse than any labs I had ever had.... these labs showed that there was NO WAY that I ovulated. This means the IUI was all for not. It was so hard for me to accept and I was devastated so needless to say I am petrified to hear these results. I hope I can get some sleep tonight....

Why does there have to be such a thing as infertility? Why is it that women who dont want babies get pregnant "by accident" and women that desperately want to be mothers cant? IF is exhausting, painful, maddening, and EXPENSIVE. We have spent almost TEN THOUSAND dollars on meds and tests and treatments thus far. Our bank account and savings has depleted and we fight about money because we have none. It just doesnt seem fair. Why me? Why anyone?

I feel like all I see is pregnant women and babies. i want to be one of those women =(